So if you are already there, why won't they allow you to have some peace?! And they misunderstand what the "authority" means it's just for the purpose of guiding you through many stages in life, till you reach the best destination that Islam wants for you. I really feel very sorry for sisters like you, whom have obeyed Allah by being obedience to their parent, and then in the end instead of them (your parent) opening their heart to do what pleases you best (which is not haram), they rather control you to do what pleases them best, in the name of "Authority of Guardians". Please tell me what I should do - as my family says I must obey my parents and if I don't, Allah will never forgive me? He is a Muslim, same caste and the rest of it. Can I afford to waste any more of my life and youth? I'm just so tired of my life, and just want to be married to this guy whom I love dearly. If I marry without their consent, will my nikah be valid? What shall I do? I have come to a point now after 7 years where I've realized they just won't agree. I know they are just threats, but it really hurts when you are a woman of my age being threatened by your dad. Shouldn't he just accept my wishes, and see that I'm not going to change my view? I've always done the right thing and obeyed my parents, but now when it's time for me to begin my life I feel as if my parents are giving me a bad name when they can simply agree to my nikah? He has been forcing me to marry his nephew, and threatened to kill me if I don't follow what he says. Also he always hoped I would marry his nephew). My father has been very abusive to me (he completely dislikes my cousin who is my mum's nephew - as he has always disliked my mums family. Why can't my family just agree to our marriage? How much longer shall I wait for them to agree? I'm the youngest the rest of my siblings have got there own lives, but me? I love my cousin dearly and cannot see myself as anyone else's wife. I'm so confused and depressed as I feel that my family and my parents are giving me no choice but to leave home. I just want my parents to do my nikah with my cousin so that I can live according to the sunnat IA, and stop sinning by being in contact with my cousin out of wedlock. The funny thing is, I'm completely independent and in a well paid job, but am missing this big piece in my life. Sometimes I feel like I ruined his life by uttering that I want to marry him. My family and relatives have made up lies, developed untrue descriptions of him, and have completely blacklisted him- as my family is very wealthy and respected within the community they have an influence on people. My poor cousin is living a life if hell due to my family because I want to marry him. I know that you guys will ask what are their reasons, or say they must have a valid reason - but they truly don't. I have spoken to every member of my family individually, but they just won't budge. The rest of my family won't agree either - I just can't seem to make them understand. However my family will not agree - largely due to my father not agreeing. We are both practicing Muslims and strongly feel we want to spend our lives together as husband and wife.
I want to marry my cousin, and he wants to marry me.
Unfortunately, even after following advice about seeking help from relatives and local imams (peer), I am still in the same situation. I have been on this forum before with my situation.
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